Monday, August 31, 2009

Mild depression setting in...

....about going to work tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! I'm seriously so sad...I've already cried like, 3 or 4 times today just thinking about it...and I'm sure that won't be the last of it.

Wow, now that I think about it...it's 6pm and I still need to figure out what the heck I'm wearing tomorrow (damn this heat), prepare milk for Kapri (she'll be with daddy allllll day!!), prepare food for me to take to work, print pics of Kapri to put on my cube (bragging time!), shower, and eat dinner...preferably with a large glass-o-vino. AHH, and I can't forget to bring my pump with me to work!!!! That would NOT be good if I forgot it....And to top it all off, I have to wake up at 4am to have enough time to feed her, get ready and be at work by 6am...wow, anxiety is hitting me hard now.

I'm also busy uploading our newest vids onto our YouTube page...it takes an eternity of course. And I also signed up for a Skype account...so that way when he's with our little munchie, we can Skype (hopefully it's not blocked at work) and I can see her from our web cam at home!! My Skype name is: mejiafam228 and James' is: jmejia81 - look us up if you have an account too! How will I cope 10 friggin hours a day, 5 days a week without seeing her sweet chubby cheeks??? Or seeing her smile at me?? Or hearing her giggle & coo at me? Or falling asleep together for our mid-day naps?? Or looking down at her while she's nursing, just to see her stop what she's doing just to look back at me & grin ear to ear?? 

All of these things get me through each day...and looking forward to the next...ahhhh, let the tears flow again!

3 months old ~ 16.6 lbs ~ 26 inches
I have this fear that I'm going to miss sooooo much while I'm gone...hopefully I can at least take Mondays off or something so it's not a full 40 hours a week. I know I'll eventually get used to it and so will she...but it's going to be so hard. Having 4 months off from work is seriously not enough time to be with a new little baby - it should be a standard & REQUIRED 6 months for mother & baby to bond...dont' you agree??? Wish me luck that I don't have a complete breakdown!!! How do other moms & dads do this earlier than 4 months???

1 comment:

  1. Oh Calista, I'm getting teary just thinking about it. My heart is with you today. At least you can rest knowing she is with her daddy who loves her (almost) as much as you! *winks* Be strong. HUGS, *k*

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