How does she do it all?!

The last month has literally escaped me...and I honestly cannot believe it's April 1st {shout out to my mamma: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!"}. I hate when weeks go by and I just DO NOT have the time to blog. I don't do it for anyone but myself, but I really enjoy documenting our cherished moments & activities in chronological order, because I frequently refer back to old blog posts when I need to remember something that my crazy mommy-brain has long forgotten.

So, I'm going to try to plug everything into one post after this one & finally get caught up!

I've noticed my last  few posts have been a few of my fav recipes, and documenting our family's life adventures has taken a back seat - which doesn't mean they're less important at all - we've just been SO flippin busy!! It's hard to keep up... between working at an office full time, completing CfC orders & preppin for the street fair (which is a short 26 days away...ahhhhh!),  trying to be a good mamma/wife, cooking dinners more often (and trying to be more healthy), and every other life event in-between... people often ask/tell me: "how do you do it all?? you make all of us look bad, I can't compete!" I really feel awful to hear that some people/moms may feel that way - but to be perfectly honest... I DON'T do it all.

I can't. 

There's just never enough time in the day... 

My dirty laundry piles up for 2-3 weeks before I force myself to wash it all. 

Then my clean laundry sits in wrinkled piles for another 1-2 weeks before I force myself to put it all away. 

We never make beds. Ever. (unless we have company)

My bathroom goes uncleaned for weeks at time...get's pretty gross with all my makeup and hair all over the place. I hate cleaning. I pretend the mess isn't there. And how the hell do I still have hair on my head, when so much of it is on the floor?!! 

Toys are scattered everywhere & are not typically not put away both downstairs & up in K's room (again, unless we have company). 

Dirty dishes frequently pile up & far over the kitchen sink...until my dear hubby tackles them all - love him for that... I hate doing dishes. 

Our back patio is truly a disgrace....literally, there is a 4' wide patch of our yard that has been overtaken by weeds that are now as tall as me (or taller) - and I'm 5'3"!! 

My car always seems to be filthy inside & out, and is extremely overdue for an oil change & 90K checkup. It's making weird noises recently - that cannot be good for my bank account.

My grey hairs are becoming more wide-spread & visible since I haven't been able to get it cut/colored since mid-November (holy moly - that's 20 weeks ago!!) 

My craft corner has never been messier.  

I want to spend quality time with old friends more, workout more, read more, sleep more than 6 hours a night - but again... not enough time. 

I (and many who know me) consider myself to be a pretty organized person - but the last couple months have felt anything BUT organized.... "chaotic" sums it all up much better - unfortunately. I procrastinate - a lot. I avoid cleaning at all costs. I don't save my money like I should. I let Kapri watch cartoons &/or movies so I can get things done (can't be THAT bad, can it?). I can never remember to floss my damn teeth...or take my vitamins. I can barely watch TV without having snacks beside me - ugh! I have a BAD nail biting habit...since 2nd grade! I have piles and piles of K's beautiful artwork shoved in paper bags, not properly well-kept (and feel guilty knowing James has thrown many away when he thinks I'm not looking). I don't wash our bedding once a week (or 2)  like we should. I drink way too much coffee...and wine... and indulge in way too much chocolate.

So to anyone that may come across this post - who thinks that I (or any other mom out there) have a cute little life that is in perfect order and somehow manages to "DO" it all - please... PLEASE, do not be fooled.

For now - I just have to take one day at a time, be thankful when I can check off my 'to-do's' and don't be too hard on myself for the 'couldn't-do's' - and just hope that I'm doing an okay job being a mamma, wife, and everything in-between.

Is this a really early April Fools Day joke?!

Last night as I curled up tight in bed, after tending to a sick Kapri a handful of times between 7pm - 11pm, and feeling the sickness coming on myself....I quickly scanned through my Google Reader - only to find myself with my jaw hitting the floor. It was announced that my FAVVVV photo editing site, Picnik.com, will be CLOSING as of April 19th.

Devastated.

I literally almost cried. I first wrote about Picnik when I discovered it almost 3 years ago, back in July 2009. Ever since then, I've been an avid, loyal user - accessing their spectacular photo editing tools numerous times per week... mainly for my blog images/collages. The wide range of functionality they offer (from both the free and premium/subscription services) is really amazing and there is nothing else like it out on the Internet. It's even integrated with my Picasa, so I can edit from there, without having to upload an image to the Picnik site. Hummm...maybe Picasa will think about adding more editing features to their software??!

I really don't understand the reason for their decision to close down...I know Google bought them in early 2010 - and I really didn't think anything of it. But now people all over blogland are seriously freaking...including myself. I can only hope that the realize between now & April that they're making a HUGE mistake and reverse their decision...please please PLEASEEEE keep this site Google people!!

If you haven't heard of this site before, or have only used their free services - I suggest you get over there now & EDIT your heart away until April....as they are now allowing everyone to have full access to all the premium editing tools!!!

Challenging Moments of Mommyhood

Obviously I know that mommy/toddlerhood isn't going to be a walk in the park all the times. There are certainly moments of bliss where everything feels like sunshine & rainbows - BUT - truth be told, there are most certainly moments of utter exhaustion/irritability/frustration/anger/sadness...

There's basically an overwhelming feeling of "what the hell is going on here?!"...or..."what am I doing wrong?!"

balancing act in action

The stress of juggling a full-time outside job and having a part-time side biz (along my full-time mommy/wife roles) is definitely harder and WAY more work than I thought it'd be. These are things most of us don't really think about before expanding our families from 2 to 3, 3 to 4 and so on. Right now, we're good with our "1", haha!

I really do try to stick with the positives on this blog & focus on the good, more than bad. Because a goal of mine one day in the far future, is to have this blog printed out in a series of book volumes for our family to look back & reflect on years from now. It's my online journal...and without it, I'd literally be lost...forgetting a ton of great memories that happen month by month. But sometimes - I need to vent.

**Before I vent, here's a few stats (starting with the 'good'):

• Kapri is now about 2 years and 8 months old (holy, that's is damn close to 3!!). 
• She's now 3 feet, 2 inches tall...wowza! 

http://www.justmommies.com/articles/childrens_growth_calculator.shtml

• She loves books, puzzles and movies like no one I've ever known and is mega into the princess phase at the moment. 
• She still loves music & dancing...sitting is a rarity in our house ;-) She'll tell you if Adele, Britney Spears, Rihanna or Beyonce is playing. And she lovesss HER song, which brings a tear to my eye whenever she randomly sings it.
• She's recognizes written words like "Kapri", "Mamma", "Dadda", "Mika" and remembers people's (& every single Disney Princess') names with ease - such a strong memory. 
• She can operate the apps in her very own folder on our iPhones like a PRO. Now she's learning to take pics on it!
• She helps me getting things out/in to the fridge/cupboards...mamma's little helper! She also loves to help me cook/bake/stir/measure...especially when preparing smoothies!
• She puts on her socks & shoes (velcro of course) - one less thing for me to do while trying to get out of the house!
• She is trusted to use the potty herself from start to  finish and has been out of daytime diapers since late August 2011 (at 2yrs/3mo old)...she now tells me not to follow her (and sometimes "don't watch me!") since she can do it alone - sheesh. 
• Her vocab is rapidly expanding. The conversations we have sometimes are just flat out hilarious (or just plain mean - see below). It amazes me the sentences she strings together these days.

She is also very sensitive, emotional & strong-willed....sounds familiar. But along with that, she can also be the most loving, kind, gentle kid I know. She really is coming into her own little, independent, decision-making-person...complete with mamma's attitude. Oh boy.

With that said - I'm having a trying time right now. Maybe it's the end of the holiday craziness and that 11-day 'staycation' of mine....but this age/stage that Kapri is in is really testing me & my ability to parent in the best way I know how. Many times I react purely out of emotion...though some days I can easily tolerate any bad behavior or attitude of hers and it's all good.

Other days - I break.

I break...into a million pieces.

Like 2 nights ago. Which was the inspiration behind this rather lengthy post. So the story begins....

It's a normal weekday...I pick K up from preschool, she sees me, yells my name & runs to me with open arms (best part of my day)! We get home around 4:30 and I tell her to play outside with her toys while I work in the garage sanding some wooden blocks for a diaper cake. She happily does what I ask and everything's great. We go inside for a snack and a little TV/movie...while I tell her that "mommy has some important orders to work on, so you'll have to entertain yourself for a bit"...she replies with "okay mamma".

For a bit basically turns into the rest of the evening, with an exception for a quick dinner. I'm swamped. And tired. I regret putting some things off til the last minute.

She tells me she's tired around 6:30 and I know bed time is around the corner....just. have. to. get. this. last. thing. done! Sooo, the bedtime routine didn't actually start until closer to 7:30 - oye vay.

Brushing her teeth turned into an ordeal. Way more drama than it needed to be. She fought it & whined & cried...she knows how I feel about that. She was visibly angry & tried to HIT me. You should've seen the look on her face!! Ugh.

Then making her sit on the potty one last time for the night made her angry as well. She repeats over & over that she didn't have to go...but I knew she did. I told her that we'd sit in the bathroom til she goes, because the night before...she didn't go potty before bed - and ultimately wet THROUGH her night diaper & onto her bedding (I really hope it doesn't take 2 more years of nighttime diapers!). In hindsight, I should've taken her to her room, got her PJ's on, read a book...then asked her to use the potty! But, I didn't... so we sat there.

And while I waited, she looked at me angrily & said "stop talking to me...don't look at me...I want Grandma...I love dadda". The other day I swear she said "I don't love you mamma", while simply trying to change her outfit before the park! GEEZ!

I was hurt bad. I tried to ignore it...seconds later, she went potty (see...I KNEW IT!) & we continued the bedtime routine. I was so hurt I didn't want to read her a book. So I changed her & put her right in bed.

She cried.

She needed her bedtime book. I told her that since she didn't love me, I couldn't read her a book that night. I just wanted to leave her room & go curl up in the corner. I was in NO mood to read like I normally do. I was over it.

But then she cried out to me "I love you mamma...love youuuu...I'm sawwryyy!" I asked if she was sure. She said yes. Then I leaned over, against her crib and explained to her how much that hurt mamma and that I love her no matter what...when she's good/bad...always, and she should do the same. I told her that I'm trying to be a good mamma...I'm trying my best...and I'm sorry if I'm not perfect all the time. Or can't do what she wants, when she wants it...all the time.

"Do you understand honey?"...."yes mamma...love you mamma".

Melt.

I ignore my hurt feelings in any longer...as soon as the first little tear welled up in my eyes and the tone in my voice changed as I tried to hold it in...she noticed. She flung off her blankie, released all her Toy Story dolls from her grip...and stood up just to hug me. So weird - she held ME in HER arms...this child, goodness! She hugged & kissed, kissed & hugged...I stopped holding back & cried...while we hugged in a dark room, with only the gentle glow of her princess nightlight. Then there was a brief moment, where her eyes caught mine and finally there was some sense of mutual understanding.

I got out a book and read to her. My patience had returned.

The following night was equally difficult with her, if not worse. Total shopping store meltdowns like I've NEVER seen before. I tried speaking to her calmly, loudly, yelling, bribbing, threatening...everything. Each & every approach I tried did. not. work! But I'm quickly learning that I've got to find one (a calm one), stick with it, and be consistent.

I've since purchased my very own copy of a book...which was recommended to me by a friend of a friend, called: Love & Logic...Practical Parenting from Birth to 6 Years. Coincidentally I had a cranky/angry child in my arms while checking out, ha! Wish me luck.

Isn't hindsight a mega bitch. I think so...now I'm kicking myself in the ass, wishing I'd reacted differently to her meltdowns. But, that's what parenting & growing up (both adults & kids) is all about....a learning game. Recognizing where we need change. We will learn to communicate better together - I know we can!

**What's ironic to writing this post...was THIS post that I've seen all over Facebook in the last 2 days - it helps to know I'm not alone and to be in the moment**

Nebulizing the day away...

From my Thanksgiving re-cap post... I had mentioned K's cold/turned breathing issues - ugh. After her standard head cold took a turn for the worse...as in, coughing so hard, for so long...to the point of choking...near throwing up (actually did once, just 15 min. before her scheduled doc appt!)...and GASPing to breath normally for air.

We sat in the room for about 2 hours, while K snuggled patiently in my lap - with an oxygen mask on her face, hooked up to a nebulizer - pumping medicated air into her lungs. Thank god for my iPhone, kid apps, and YouTube to watch clips of Disney movies.

the mask kinda smooshed her face a bit, poor thing!

After 2 rounds of the nebulizer treatment - we were outta there with a prescription for a little infection and a scheduled follow up appt for Wed., the day before Thanksgiving. At the f/u appt, I was told that children who develop RSV early in life, have a 30% chance of developing asthma. Great. I freaked inside a bit...but then I realized that was just a small chance. So I'm trying not to think about that. But still, every time she gets a cold, her lungs get really wheezy and her cough typically gets really bad. No fun.

The doc also ordered our very own in-home nebulizer, so we don't have to keep coming into her office (and YAY no $25 co-pay each time!). Luckily we have that - because as I write today...just a few short weeks after that appt... our poor little bug is sick.

Again.

We've used the 'nebbie' like, 3 times already since 4am this morning - and it really seems to help when she's in the middle of a really gnarly coughing attack. She knows the drill now and tolerates the whole 'nebulizing' process...so that makes it easier. She also gets some cool ice cream for her raw throat...in mamma/dadda's bed...watching movies all day - SCORE kid!

I'm just hoping she'll be better by Christmas - luckily it's a full week away from today - so I'm sure she'll be good! Last year she was totally sick ON Christmas day and that sucked. However I'm now getting sick again too. Damn this never-ending ickyness!

Black Friday Mania - 2011

Okay, listen up Target, Best Buy, Walmart, Kohl's, Macy's....

...All you crazy business who just HAD to open at midnight instead of the usual 4am on Black Friday....  "This. Is. Getting. Ridiculousness!!"

I got zero sleep since I hosted Thanksgiving, it was brrrr freezing out & it only got colder as the morning progressed, and those poor employees that had to go in to work extra early (or late rather) on Thanksgiving.

I mean, really?? I'm all for a good deal, and yes I know I supported it by actually going out at midnight - but this is mine & my sister's tradition. I'm not one to break tradition....but it was just really difficult, I felt like my brain was just not functioning correctly - no sleep and lots of wine just a few hours earlier will do that to ya.


Anyway - rant over - I just hope they go back to opening around 4am...even 2am if they have to....just not midnight. PAAAlease!!

So, my sis picked me up at 11:40 and we headed to 7-Eleven for some really crappy coffee. Ugh. Not off to a good start. Then we drove down the street to scope out Target & Best Buy...whoa lines! Nothing crazy like what I read/saw online or on TV...but definitely some dedicated people out there. And who knows how long they were actually standing out there! Same with the Best Buy line...which just happened to go past the Starbucks...only to find that they were open TOO, YAY! Better coffee here we come.

We tossed our crappy 'Sevie' coffee & stood in line for the good stuff - oh, and a sausage/egg muffin, yum. After we ate that, the BB line was gone. So we walked over & it was a mad house. Granted this BB location is definitely smaller than others, it was SO unorganized. Total chaos. I couldn't find the laptop or the external harddrive that I wanted. And Chels found her cheap Canon cam, but we couldn't even find the end of the line. So we put the cam back & left, empty handed. Weird for us.

Then we went to Target with higher hopes and it did seem better upon walking in...bigger store, newly renovated with better layout/grocery section/etc. But....then we got to the back where the electronics/toys were...and that was outta control TOO! Boo...we couldn't concentrate, we were flustered, we were empty handed yet again.


Walmart-bound. Definitely better. Picked over, yes. But easier to focus on the task at hand, yes! AND, I scored on this lil beauty:

Ahhh purty huh?! She was only $388 before tax...holy deal, yippee!! She's a HP Pavilion g7-1219wm laptop with AMD Dual-Core E-450 processor with Windows 7....this 17" screen is FAB and the keyboard is huge, feels as big as one for a normal desktop computer (has the numeric pad on the right side even!).

I also got K a few goodies like a Disney Princess table/chairs for her/my craft room...so she can sit & color or craft right next to me! Also some more Leap Frog Jr. Tag books, some cheapy cartoon DVD's, clothes/shoes/boots (at Kohls) and a couple little goodies for James too of course ;-)

All-in-all, within 5 hours, we went to Starbucks, Best Buy, Target, Walmart, Kohl's, Macys (could've napped quite well on this bed:)

soooooooooo tired!!

...then back to BB (Chels got her cam without even standing in line!), and finally grabbed some breakfast at Einstein Bagels right when they opened at 5:30...SO amazing and needed after that much shoppin. Phew. So glad we didn't have to settle for b'fast at McDonalds or Dennys...ick. We didn't encounter any psycho people with pepper spray or theft in the parking lot at gun point - so I'd say it was a successful shopping adventure - zero drama for this mamma!!

the goods...

Then on Cyber Monday I scored on eBay (using Bill Me Later I got zero interest/payments for 6 mo!) - got James a lil somethin, got K a new plush Dora doll and her very own "Elf on a Shelf" - cannot WAIT to start this super cute Christmas tradition with her!

Who turned off the lights??

Good thing I'm not scared of the dark!

We experienced a little blackout the other day...and when I say little, I mean GINORMOUS! We're talkin power lost for about 5 MILLION people, throughout parts of Arizona, Southern California and parts of Baja Cali (Mexico). That is a LOT of people just sitting around, doin a whole lot of nothing. This went on for quite some time too... from around 3:30pm on Wednesday (9/7) afternoon, til 1:30am on Thurs (9/8) early morning.

Craziness. This is now known as the "Great San Diego Black-Out of 2011" - hilarious.

Normal SD scene vs. Blackout SD scene

And of course it had to be on a pretty hot day. Lovely. I had just picked up Kapri from preschool...she was drenched in sweat, miserable, crying & just wanted mamma. I got back to the car to find 2 texts, that I couldn't reply to...as they wouldn't go through. I tried to dial out, numerous times over the 5 minute drive home...nada.

I finally got home, yep, it's confirmed...garage door won't open "power is definitely out", I thought to myself. This ought to be fun. (yeah right). How the heck do you explain to a 2 yr old that we can't watch Curious George or Toy Story because the 'power is out'?? haha...then once James fought insane traffic & finally got home, we ended up having my sisters over for the evening and sat around staring at each other, chatting & having a cold 'adult' beverage or 2, while K enjoyed playing with us by candlelight...until our phones started to die. So around 8pm, when James got K ready for bed, my sisters & I decided to jump in the car for a bit so we could all charge our phones. We drove around in COMPLETE darkness for 45 minutes, just amazed at how dead the city was. No street lights, no parking lot or business lights - it was very surreal. Much darker than that pic above even, since we're in North County SD. We did end up going to an open liquor store, who helped us shop by flashlight...and took our cash for another small case of cold drinks ;-)

There was a common theme all over Facebook (our only means of communication & info updates since phone lines were totally blocked) - people drinking with their friends, getting to know the neighbors & bbq'ing what they could from their slowly defrosting fridges. Pretty sure that's what 75% of people in the entire black out zone were doing, all at the same time.

On our way to bed around 11pm, we noticed (on FB!) that more & more people were starting to get their power back. We decided to leave a light on & plug in our phones to the chargers/dock, so that we'd know when (if) the power turned back on - luckily it did. It was quite an experience. Having never been in that situation before...it definitely makes you appreciate energy in a whole new way, when you realize how much really depends on it.

I LOVE LIGHTS!!! hahaha

Dear Cancer,

A good friend of mine & fellow blogger sent me this link yesterday to write a letter...'TO cancer'. So I did it...and so should YOU! You can write a sentence...you can write a paragraph...just write SOMEthing!

Here's my letter that I proudly submitted today:

"Dear Cancer,

Although you strike with unwitting power, forcefully trying to ruin the lives of countless, undeserving people – you have some tough competition. Those whose bodies & organs you aggressively tackle are touch souls. They are true champions, brave warriors… fierce GLADIATORS!! And they. will. WIN! You’ll see. Maybe not at every battle, but each time you show your ugly face, we as a united people, become more motivated & increasingly determined to beat you’re a$$. The hatred, sadness, heartache, and chaos that follows in your dark, cruel path, may seem like a detriment to our spirit…but trust me, it only makes us stronger."

This came to me at an appropriate time, as someone we've both known for a few years now (through my job), has just been diagnosed with a shocking cancer. He's a young, healthy, and extremely driven guy - one admired by many throughout our company. Of course hearing disheartening news like this, always puts LIFE into perspective...and makes me appreciate what I have in this very moment. It also reminds me that you never know what can happen to you or a loved one today, tomorrow or next month - so we really have to LIVE each day to the fullest... and not get caught up in unnecessary, insignificant, little things that fog up your vision. Surrounding yourself with as much positivity as possible. Focusing your energy on the negative, will only drain your body & soul that much faster...leaving little (to no) room to stay centered & focus on the good in your life.

Source: iamblessed.tumblr.com via Calista on Pinterest

In fact, yesterday after speaking with another dear friend (and amazing writer who SHOULD be blogging!) - an immense amount of weight & worry was pulled off her shoulders, by just telling the later part of the above paragraph. Saying it out loud even helped me regain focus onto what is really important (quote from Oprah): "Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." RIGHT?!!

Additionally - I stumbled upon this article on "Ten Things to be Thankful For" -  that really helped my perspective...do read!

Disney mania

With the upcoming birthdays of both my niece (4) and nephew (2), and receiving their invitation to Disneyland next month...I've been thinking a lot about Disney movies, naturally. We haven't taken Kapri yet, and weren't planning to until just before her 3rd bday (of course before, since she'll be free up until her actual bday, haha!). But now we may reconsider....she'd have a blast with her little cousins!!

Sadly though, Kapri has never had the opportunity to watch any of the TEN famous Disney 'Princess' movies...I loooooved these movies with all my heart growing up (with the exception of 8, 9 & 10 which I have yet to see). She knows Belle, Ariel, Sleeping Beauty & Cinderella...only because Grandpa got her a cute toy set of them, which she loves...so now I'm on a mission to get my hands on em for K to enjoy as well:

1. Snow White
2. Cinderella
3. Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)
4. Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
5. Belle (Beauty and the Beast)
6. Jasmine (Aladdin)
7. Pocahontas
8. Ming-Na (Mulan)
9. Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)
10. Rapunzel (Tangled -- yet to be inducted into the highly exclusive princess line-up! haha)

I swear I used to be able to recite entire movies and their accompanying songs...ie: I wanted to BE Ariel with that insanely unattainable, flowing red hair & gorgeous voice - in 3rd grade I vividly remember (me, having the worst memory ever!) acting out the entire "Part of Your World" scene with my friend in her huge pool/backyard area...like we were the real deal...mermaids in training, HA!! But, then you become a teen, in high school...and boys become your main focus instead of silly cartoons.  ;-)

Out of the 1st 50 Disney movies on THIS list...I've seen maybe 60% of them - so maybe I'm not a crazy Disney fanatic, but I would love for K to have the chance to see a good amount of these as well...the classics especially.

WHY can't there be a Disney Princess Combo Pack or something, maybe like, 2 or 3 of them in each?? I do not need a "2-disc" set of the same damn movie...no special features and bonus thingys...I just want the movie - plain & simple. My mom has a TON of old Disney movies on VHS...but if I convert them I worry the quality would be crap. So...what do I do? Buy 1 movie every few months to work up my collection?? But mannnnn are they expensive!! They can range anywhere from $15 - $30!! That's sad  :'-(  Maybe I'll just invest $10 in a cheapy VHS player instead & ransack my mom's movie cupboard, LOL!!! What do you think mamma?!!

Summertime Sicky

Well, another cold has hit the Mejia house...after a fun & sun-filled weekend (and 3 days straight in various pools), K came down with a mega cold. Sunday night I was literally up with her every 30-45 minutes as she cried out in pain...poor thing, she was unbearably uncomfortable. I was near tears at one point because I just felt soooo bad for her. I would've done anything just to take her pain & put it on me. Seeing her miserable like that just breaks my heart. Turns out as we took her to the doc first thing Monday morning, she was diagnosed with an ear infection in her right ear & beginning pneumonia - fabulous. Thankfully she's now on Amoxicillin and things are looking up. But of course now I have a little something...slight head cold, luckily nothing major like she had *sigh* I'm so OVER her getting sick...it seems to happen every month or so. What happens when we put her in day/play care?? sheesh!!

To cheer her (& I of course) up tonight, I made us some yummy after-dinner treats...chocolate dipped, sprinkled bananas with whipped cream & a red p.b. M&M on top! Easy & delish.

I can cry if I want to...it's my birthday.

Well. That sucked. Kapri's 2nd birthday was not at all how I planned. James & I took the day off to be with her & just have a fun family day together & celebrate her bday, but when I noticed a runny nose on Thursday night...I knew my plans may have to change.

Of course we woke to a sicky little 2 year old, that was not very happy. Well, I walked into her room first thing in the morning, while singing the "Happy Birthday" song...so she was happy for that...but the rest of the day was just bad. We stuck with the morning plan of going to get her pics taken...all I needed was ONE good shot... which we sorta got, but it was like pulling teeth trying to get a smile outta that kid. I busted out a huge lollypop, and had to sit there & tickle her leg between snaps of the camera...and wipe her nose every 30 seconds. But at least we walked out with a cute pic!

Then we took her home to nap...which she decided not to do (only a bit in the car)...but wide awake once we were home. So then we decided to run out to Toys R Us to let her pick out her bday gift, which is this fun little "Sandy Lagoon Waterpark" - because she just LOVES being outside, loves sand, and loves water...perfect combo we thought! After we wore her out letting her run a marathon all over that store, we stopped by the store to buy food to BBQ hamburgers, yum! Of course she was miserable, crying & snotty, so I felt terrible having her run all around town that day.

She slept again in the car after, but of course wanting nothing to do with a nap in her own cozy bed once home. Figs. So we set up the 'waterpark' toy & let her have at it while we cooked. Finally...after dinner we busted out a yummmmmy ice cream cupcake from Coldstone's...with a "2" candle for her to blow out. She was seriously miserable by this point, but held in there...she could not resist ice cream!! Which is why I'm doing an ice cream themed bday party...which by the way...I moved 2 weeks later, thank goodness. It was crappy weather, not suitable at all for park playing & ice cream eating. So, good idea on my part to just postpone it. The party will be on June 5th...and I'm soooo excited to set everything up...all the crafts & fun ideas I've been working on for the last month will finally be OUT of my dining room! Here's a vid, kinda long, if you have 8 min to spare:

I think I need to become THAT mommy...

You know...the one that carries around 53 packs of disinfectant wipes & 37 tubes of Purell. I should keep some in my purse, my car in both the middle console and in the back (near K's car seat), in K's diaper bag, and in each of our strollers (yes we have THREE)...Ugh. Kapri is coming down with another cold this afternoon. This time I SWEAR it was from the damn library trip on Monday.


Last time I'm 99% certain it was from THIS fun outing, resulting in THIS fun hospital visit. Either I can't take her anywhere anymore, OR I have to become a total germaphobe. Neither of those options sound like a good idea. But, I really should investigate how often people clean their community toys...like at the library or at those Hullabaloo shows. I doubt they often do. NASTY! Do you think if I wrote them a letter/email, they'd be honest with me?? I'm seriously contemplating it...along with this photo included, haha!

I got her and I a "Cold Buster" Smoothie from Jamba, hoping it would help...not sure enjoyed it as much as the yummy berry ones I make her... But she looked cute pretending to be drinking it!


Perfect timing for this too...we're going to Palm Desert for a mommy & daddy weekend getaway on Friday morning. Fan-freakin-tastic.

Blog name change

Well, I've decided to update my blog name to reflect my recently modified blog web address. See THIS post to see why I couldn't use "youmeandkapri" for my blog address. ugh. So annoyed with that still. Makes me want to email her and ask her "WTH lady?!!"

So...it's only fitting that I change my blog name to match the address..."You, Me and Kapri" is now:

Done and done.

Yet another hospital trip...

Phew...what a crazy couple days & sleepless couple nights James, Kapri & I have had to endure. More so what Kapri had to endure, since she was the little sickey...but James & I both suffered while we watched nearly helplessly as she suffered beside us.

**Be warned...long post...

R.I.P. BB

So, my beloved Blackberry Bold decided it was a lovely morning for a quick dip in my dunkin donuts coffee on Sunday. Grr.

I fished it out as quickly as possible, took it apart, busted out the rice, and buried my phone remains...and waited about 30 minutes. I put it back together, waited for it to restart...phewww, the battery isn't shot, the screen came back on. Then...error. "Memory card could not load due to FATAL error" - O. M. G. So I took it apart again, rice...wait. Went grocery shopping, came back...restart..YAY, memory card worked. Wait, what's this...I cannot PRESS any BUTTONS!! Fanfreakintastic.

Best Buy - here I come. Thank GOD for Jame's Best Buy card...so we both upgraded, hehe

Oddly enough, even though I wasn't due for an upgrade until April 2011 - I could still get a slightly discounted iPhone 4 - so it worked out okay. So, needless to say, James & I are both happy & in love...............with our phones, haha!








PS...this camera is AWESOME compared to BB's.

I think I need a bigger...

CLOSET!!!!!! argsagfiasfhsiaiaidf...I hate this tiny little "hole in the wall" - I guess it could be worse, but for me, it's just miserable. My last closet was fabulous. It wasn't a walk-in, but it was loooonnnggggg...I could hang every shirt, tank top, skirt, jacket, dress & pair of pants...even old Halloween costumes. Ugh.


Upon moving to this current home, I got rid of probably 5 trashbags full of clothes & shoes. But apparently that wasn't enough. Now, I have a few jackets downstairs in a small coat closet, a few sweaters & my wedding dress in a portion of the closet in K's room/office, most my jeans now have to be folded & stashed somewhere in-between, and the rest is SQUISHED into this shack of a closet:

yes, I color-coordinate my shirts...don't laugh

And that pic is minus alllllllll of these clothes...that I just cleaned. This totals 3 full loads of laundry. Yikes. My name is Calista. And I am a shopaholic.

These piles are about a foot deep...not fun to put away.

Mommy & Me Mondays

I work from home on Mondays...it's bitter sweet. I have to WORK, but I also have to play, feed, & watch over little Kapri. It's tough, not gonna lie. Most people would kill to have this luxury, I know...but I find it increasingly harder & harder to focus on both equally. Thankfully I start working before she wakes up, then can really focus on the computer during her 2-hr nap, then can work into the evening if needed, once she goes to sleep for the night. I make it work, somehow. Though by the time James gets home, I'm a little frazzled - see this post, case in point.

Anyway...it's fun, cuddly moments like these that make me forget my worries:

Life. It happens.

I’ve got a LOT on my mind lately…probably too much to write full blog entries about. But to sum it up, I’ve been thinking about my new biz probably way too much…I’m bursting with ideas & have sooo many things I want to do, yet I feel like I’m chained by my wrists to a brick wall – I cannot move. I cannot execute my creativeness. Why? Money. Isn’t that what it always boils down to?? Umph. I want to be free. I want to explore, provide, relish. I need to keep telling myself to be patient, that things need time to grow and that one day, I’ll be able to look back & say “yes, I did this”!

Patience. Patience….And determination of course.

On top of that, I think a LOT about my family, Kapri & James are my purpose for waking up every single day. Kapri is growing up too fast…yet I’m thoroughly enjoying watching those precious moments with her. I mentioned this to a friend today – lately when I look at Kapri my mind races back & forward through time… through the last 2 years. Kinda weird that this convo happened today, because I just realized that literally 2 years ago, on 9/24/2008, is when I peed on that little stick and smiled from ear to ear within the minute or two that the results magically appeared in that small, life-changing window. I think back to that day, then my mind fast-forwards to watching my belly grow month by month…Then to feeling those first mind-blowing flutters…turned to full blown kicks & punches – oh Kapri. *Queue the Colbie Caillat “Capri” song!!* Then it fast-forwards to the hospital. Birth Day. Seeing Kapri’s sweet face & head full of hair…tears. Then I remember those 1st few weeks at home with her…god how I cried. I cried because I did not know or realize just how much this feeling of love could overwhelm me. Why didn’t anyone tell me it’d be like this?? That it’d be THIS incredible?! And that this feeling will never go away – I am so grateful.

Now – she’s 16 months old, full of energy, wonder, & life. She’s got her own little attitude personality…but is so sweet, loving, strong, curious, smart, and gorgeous. Everyday is an adventure. Good or bad, adventure none the less. And do I have all the answers? Nope. Will I ever? Nope. Will I keep moving forward…growing, learning, succeeding & being the best mom I can be? You bet.

BLOGGER...kiss it, seriously.

I have so many posts saved as drafts, but something is funky and I cannot get any pics & text lined up how I want them. I seriously wanna cry. This is like, the place I go to express my feelings & thoughts, my LIFE...it's my journal - and I just can't figure it out right now. I try to click on a pic & make it bigger, to the left & with a caption...does it work, no. It doesn't even recognize that I'm clicking on the stupid pic. I try to move one under the other, does it move down...no, it moves to the very top. It'd also be pretty awesome if you could drag a pic where you want it...like, have the text scroll up, while you're draggggin the pic down...does that make sense?? Isn't that a pretty BASIC feature??? Currently have to drag it down like, one paragraph at a time. I guess I should add all my pics first, then type in text in-between?? Or how about "CTRL+A" to select ALL text & ALL pics, then realign ALL of them to the left, center or right side??!! Is that seriously too much to ask?? Grr.

And WTH is the post window like, 1/2 the size of a full browser window???  I know that it's the size of the actual width of the blog (where the text goes), bt that would seriously make my life 10x easier. Or at least the toolbar at the top, should really move with your text, along the SIDE of the text window. Everytime I highlight a paragraph of text, then click on the 'realign' tool, the 'highlight' on my text disappears, so I can't make it align correctly. I would scream curse words at the screen right now...except I'd much rather Kapri stay asleep, and James would probably tell me to STHU!! hahaha...he's probably already sick of me bitching about this stupid thing anyway.

Oh, and 'post options' should be at the top, under the TITLE...dumb. And why is there like, only a handful of fugly freakin fonts...so lame. And why can't we upload a chunk of pics at the same time?? Clicking Browse, finding the pic, then upload, & repeat is rather annoying & time consuming. And WHY do I have to enter my email/password every single time I go to Blogger...I check that dumb little "remember me" box each time as well - why don't you remember me?!!!

Google - EMAIL ME...I've got some things to get off my chest damnit....I WISH I would've had Windows 7 a few weeks ago so we could've paid me to participate in your stupid survey/test thingy. I still don't have it...will at work soon if they'd just install it like I asked them to over a month ago...sheesh.

Maybe it's this damn laptop - but maybe not. I will try again tomorrow morning once I hook this thing up to my dock at work & have my bigger monitors. Or "Google Chrome" - is that really better?? Let's try...

My Mask...

...of 'pregnancy' that is. NO, I'm not pregnant again...but I do have (14 months later) the "mask of pregnancy", also known as "Melasma" - it's not cute. It's a large area of darken pigmentation in the middle of my forehead. I can't remember if I had it during pregnancy...I think I did...but I know I definitely had it after. And recently I feel like it's gotten worse, or darker I guess...because people (thanks hubby & sis) have pointed it out! Ugh.

So I asked my doc the other day about getting a cream to get rid of this crap. I asked her about it a few months after I gave birth, but since I was still breastfeeding, she said I couldn't use the cream. But now I can...however I have to apply it like 734289 times a day AND stay out of the sun/wear a hat/leave my bangs down...in the middle of summer. Um, no.

She called in the prescription for me, but I doubt it's even covered by my insurance since it's considered 'cosmetic' and not a medical necessity, pshhh. I'm seriously not going to stay out of the sun (or keep my whole forehead covered forever). So, we'll see...maybe after summer.

Until then...anyone know of a full coverage, yet lightweight foundation/cover up that I can buy to "mask" my "mask"?? I've been reading about Dermablend...hum...

OJ and a side of breakdown please

Day 1 of the Ease Out process, technically Day 11 of no food...I get ORANGES today! OJ for breakfast, lunch & dinner. Okay, and I sneaked 4 cantaloupe melon balls...I couldn't resist, I had to cut it open & dice it up before it went bad! Oh, and I had 2 pieces of spinach from James' salad tonight, haha. At least it's healthy 'cheats'. But really, I have to get my body used to food again, so a little here & there, soup tomorrow....life is good.

Although today I broke down. I'm not sure if it was Kapri just being super clingy, or me having too much damn work to do on the the computer, or me just being grumpy/hungry/irritable from this whole cleanse...probably just a combo of all 3...but I lost it. Working from home on Mondays was sooo great in the beginning a few months ago, probably because I wasn't BURIED in work to do - so I could focus my time equally among both work & her. Anyway...she wants her mama. Who am I to deny her that? She wants to interact & play, not by herself all day, with cartoons on...trying to distract her from the fact that I needed to work. I felt like such a horrible mommy today...I mean, really crappy...I've never felt this bad, especially as I gently pushing her off my leg over, and over, and oooover as she clung to it, or threw her toy across the room after she threw it at me & at the computer about TEN times...then finally grabbed her arm & yelled "NO hitting mommy or the computer"! Normally I calmly say "Kapri honey, we don't hit, that hurts mommy/daddy/mika/etc....we give hugs in this house, not hits"....ahhhh, I wanted to scream & cry at the same time. Instead I just cried & called James. Of course he worked a little later than he normally does on Mondays...ah, anyway...I went & laid down in the quiet tanning booth for a bit after that, haha.

Anyway, I've officially decided that we need to look into a child care place locally, just for 4 or 5 hours on Mondays so I can get my much needed work done (not house work...WORK work). Plus, I feel okay about that decision because she needs to play with other kids. She LOVES kids. It's time. Let's just hope we can afford it...I'm scared to even find out.

Alrighty, I'm done for the night...gotta finish my frozen OJ slushy, it's sooooo good!