How is it 2014?!! Happy New Year!

TWO-thousand-FOURTEEN! Amazing.

Random thought: Why are we not in flying cars by now?? hmmm

Kapri spent the night at Grammy's with her 2 cousins...and my sister Chelsea & her BF Andrew came over to 'cheers' to the New Year, before they went to dinner & to hang with friends in another part of town.

After our sweet photo sesh, we headed out to have fun ringing in the New Year with the hubs & some friends at a club in downtown San Diego:

While being out, I decided it was time to turn over a new leaf...make a new tradition. I realized that I would much rather have gone to a really nice dinner, reflected on the past year's ups & downs together... and rang in the New Year with a glass or two of champagne at home with my loves...and/or maybe with a few friends over ---- in our PJ's, banging on pots & pans like when I was little! 

It's NOT at all that 31 is OLD, but I definitely felt a teensy tiny bit out of place on the dance floor last night...once I looked around & realized that probably most the other people around me were a solid DECADE younger than me...it was in that moment that I did truly feel: Old - weird.

And I'm okay with that...just next year we're sticking with our original plan (as mentioned above).

CHEERS to the NEW YEAR! I can feel there will be lots of transition in store for our little family of 3...

OH - and 'goals of the year' - as I like to call them:

...Our joint New Year's Resolution....is one date night per month (we had hardly any last year). Since we married on "8/22", we decided that every other month James would plan it (on the 8th) and every other month in between, I would plan it (on the 22nd). So, something fun to look forward to...planning on checking for unique 'activity' type deals Groupon & Living Social!

...My individual goal for the year is to run around 2-3 5Ks and maybe 2-3 10Ks (toward the end of the year) - would love to have more bibs & medals to proudly call my own.

...Another personal goal is to read 2 or 3 books, front to back! Last year I got through 2 which was HUGE for me...a person who 'can never find the time to read' and if I do...'I'm constantly thinking about other things I could be getting done', haha.

...Lastly, a new career. Whoa...that sounds crazy to actually write down. But the fact is, my company/position will be relocating soon (to a whole other state!)...so I know that my 7-year gig or 'book' so to speak, will soon come to an end & be closed for good - I'm assuming mid-year. I'd love to find something I have more of a passion for... it'll just take some major digging & soul searching. Fingers crossed!

The mind of a 4 year old

Bedtime with munchkin included an interesting little conversation cuddled up in the dark the other night...one that really struck me & I thought about it for awhile after.

K: "mommy...I don't want to grow up"

Me: "really? why's that?"

K: "because I want to stay little forever"

Me: "aw toots, me too...I miss when you were a little baby, but I LOVE watching you grow up!"

K: "but I don't want to...I don't want to be 6, 7, 10, or 12...I want to stay little, like 4 or 5"

Me: "I'm sorry honey...this is life - it doesn't work that way. Each day we grow just a teeny tiny bit. 

And each year we all turn a year older...that's just what happens and we can't stop that...so we need to try & be happy with each day that we have & enjoy getting older."

K: "well....do you like being grown'd up??"

Me: "of course I do, growing up meant that I got to have you for my daughter...and it means we get to learn more, do new things and meet new friends...growing up is fun!"
{somehow I'm honestly saying all this without a doubt in my mind}

K: *sighs...deep in thought...looking up to the dark ceiling*

Me: "don't worry about it honey, you're too young for that!" *giggle to myself*

Then we held each other in silence as we always end our day together...I made myself repeat this convo in my head so I'd remember to write it down here...that was a priceless moment for sure.

MAN - was that heavy or what? For a FOUR year old?! Sheesh. And maybe 3 weeks ago, she randomly came up to me and said that she didn't want to go to Kindergarten ..which we've never talked about before...so I assume it's from overhearing the big-kid group at preschool talking about their next journeys onto Kindergarten.

I also found out after, that she'd mentioned a similar thing about not wanting to grow up to James earlier that day....wonder what is goin through that little noggin of hers lately....

What's more interesting as I type this...I realized we have been dealing with (or just casually speaking about) a lot of life's 'adult' pressures...jobs, homes, finances, more kids, etc. It's funny what kids can pick up on & somehow understand, even when you think they are completely tuned out. Then we finally watched "This is 40" with my sister & her bf... hilariously honest movie - exaggerated I'm sure - but definitely spoke a ton of truth.

I don't dismiss the fact that 'time flies' and I find that I'm continually stopping to remind myself of so many things:

 - "she won't be this little forever" - when she asks me to pick her up & hold her

 - "she won't want me to snuggle with her one day" - when she is insistent every night for a book & lots of snuggle time...even if James read to her, momma still has to crawl in for "2 minutes snuggle mamma". *melt*

 - "she won't want me to inspect her every move" - when she says:  "Watch ME mommy!" 152,479 times in a row.

 - "she won't depend on me for much longer" - when I have to help her brush her teeth, change her clothes, brush her gorgeous hair, or prep her food.... though she is very stern when there is something she can "do all by myself mommy".

She's already able to "pump" on the swings all by herself now and swing super high without our help. She has a very strong opinion on her clothing & shoes. She is beginning to correct the "s" that she's had in place of "f"...she used to say "singers" instead of "fingers" - which we just love & the other night I realized she said it correctly, with an "f" - aww!

*sigh*

Life & growing up are a combination of so many things and so many feelings - it's difficult & exciting, challenging & rewarding, slow & fast, heart-breaking & inspiring...

...but most of all, it's pretty damn incredible when you actually stop to think about it.

Officially FOUR

Although we had a great big birthday party the weekend before K's birthday...I knew we should send her to school the day of her actual bday with a special cake to celebrate with her school friends:

The evening, we also decided to have a simple dinner out - just us 3.

Happy Birthday Munchkin...we love you more than words can thoroughly explain. 

Over these past 4 years, your incredible light has brightened up our existence and taught us SO many things...

About appreciating life. 

About finding patience. 

About sheer exhaustion.

About never-ending fears. 

About immense joys.

About quality time. 

About astonishing strength. 

About unwavering, unconditional, pure love.

Kapri's little hand at 2 months old

First Street Fair Booth - What I learned...

Just realized I never posted this, after the Encinitas Street Fair in April! haha...(it's 7/12/13...but I'm post-dating!)

Wow.

Cannot believe it's over... kinda like a wedding... months & months of planning all for one day. One day that goes by in a blink of an eye. One day....and it's over. The day/night before, I literally was on ZERO amount of sleep, and an entirely too much caffeine - my heart was racing & I was going about 1500 miles a minute finishing last minute things!

I would've hoped to start this post with something more along the lines of "holy crap I just made 5 billion dollars!!!" - sadly, I did not.

BUT - it was an AHmazing experience, learned a lot of what I would do again...and what I would NOT do again. And it was definitely fun! I had sooooo many people come by my booth & express there well-wishes and/or how proud they were of me...so that felt tremendous and really lifted me up. So much love from so many...I just feel so blessed to have people (family, friends, co-workers) around me that support my love of sewing/crafting! I remember I kept thinking, "wow...I'm a VENDOR - finally....at the same street fair I grew up going to every year, I'm actually on the other side of it now!" I felt really grown up...which sounds odd saying, considering I'm 30 years old, haha!

So - first things first... Our BOOTH!

First apron I've made entirely from scratch...love how it turned out!

Though it was primarily "Custom from Calista" goodies, a portion of it was stocked full of gorgeous hair accessories from my friend Danielle, who owns "Poisies Handmade" - adorbs!

I was so overwhelmed that morning from a combo of annoyances... didn't get into bed until around midnight... missed my alarm by 45 min... then my (& James') bathroom outlets mysteriously decided to NOT work - causing my already panicked mind to freak out. And guess what? The outlets worked just fine the next day...how does that happen?!

We arrived around 6:15am & set up pretty quickly, having 4 people there made that part easy. But then once James left, I felt like my mind was shutting down on me and I couldn't think. I didn't know where I wanted things or how to place different items. I was a silent MESS! Then my friend/co-worker Melissa showed up in the nick of time...She took charge of product placement & made everything look so brilliantly organized....talk about a LIFESAVER!! I could never thank her enough!!

The weather was nice for set up, overcast & cool...and we had a spot just outside a Whole Foods and a brand new restaurant/bar...so I thought for sure that would bring a ton of people our way. Around mid-morning...I started wondering where the HECK everyone was at! I've been to this street fair I don't know how many times in my life (being an Encinitas native), and I know how packed it normally is. You can hardly walk since it's usually so congested with people strolling along, stopping to check out booths. So I knew something was off.

Turns out there was some other events happening that weekend, and maybe the weather turned everyone away. Our booth neighbor told us he's been doing street fairs since the 70's, and this was the first time he'd seen this particular fair so low in attendance. Lovely. So that explains why I didn't walk away with 5 billion dollars, haha!

Anyway, onto 'what I learned' from this whole street fair thing...here's my TOP 10:

1. Get enough SLEEP. I cannot stress this enough. I was so tired, running on fumes the days leading up to the street fair. By the time it was all over, I literally felt like all my life force had been sucked out of me.

2. Make a LIST - a really super detailed one. I'm talking, down to "pens, tape, products, cash, etc". Check off everything the night before. And pack your car(s) up the night before as well. Here's MY LIST.

3. Have proper SIGNAGE. For everything... your biz name on a large & visible banner, product names/prices, etc. Super important. People want to be able to see things, and find info themselves, rather than asking "how much is this??".

4. Bring FOOD! I remember looking at other lists online, and thinking..."nah, there's tons of food at the street fair, I'll grab some yummy grub while I'm there". Nope. I only left my booth maybe 3 times to use the restroom at Whole Foods (& one time I bought a banana on my way out). And luckily, a sweet friend of mine brought me a sandwich, which I almost denied. So that was about the extent of my food intake for the entire day. Oh, and a butt load of coffee, yet again.

5. Enlist HELPERS! Super critical. You cannot do it all, seriously. One or 2 is good, depending on the size of your booth. I had one, and the girl I shared a booth with had one - space was a little tight!

6. SIT - at least a few times throughout the day. I did not. (except to pee! haha) Baaaaaaaad idea. I don't think I've ever been so exhausted (besides giving birth) in my life...and have NEVER felt the pain in my feet, as I did at the end of the day. Like I said earlier, I was running around like a mad woman the entire week prior, and the day before was on my feet crafting ALL day long. Then standing at the booth from 6:15am until 5pm... that'll do you in.

7. TALK to everyone that comes in your booth. Smile. Be personable. I had some great conversations & met so many nice people - I think that goes a long way when you're a vendor. No one wants to buy something from a grouchy person that barely speaks. Engage with them. Compliment something they're wearing. Show them around - they may see obvious items, but you may want to point out the less obvious as well.

8. Take CREDIT CARDS! I used the PayPal Here card reader & iPhone app. Both worked great! I loved that I could pre-load all of my products, along with photos & prices (either with or without tax included...I recommend adding tax into your costs so you don't have to fiddle with calculating tax on everything...especially for those paying with cash. Total life saver!

9. Do a detailed TRIAL RUN set up a week before. If I could do it over again I would've been more detailed in my trial set up. We set up the canopy & tables out on our cul-de-sac, just to get an idea of how long it'd take to put them all together - but I did NOT figure out where I wanted all my products to go and do a complete set up...that was a fail.

10. And finally...Don't Worry, be HAPPY!...just try not to stress yourself out  :-)

Here's a few other photos of our booth set up:

March Madness {a recap}

It really was "March Madness" in & around the Mejia home, which left me with ZERO time to blog practically all month... blogging really does take time, but I enjoy it & love to capture all our memories in one place!

In addition to Kapri's weekly ballet classes (can't wait for the recital!!), here's a recap of the happenings in our lives during the last 5 weeks:

K's 3rd Dentist visit

She's doing much better now that she's been here 2 other times...still gets a little anxious when the first lay her down, but as long as I am there beside her, holding her little hand - she's all good. Doc says teeth are perfect (with the exception of the 1 she's missing)...so that's good news! I love that they have TV's in the ceilings and headphones, so the kids can just 'zone out' while getting their teeth checked out. My dentist has something like that too now (score for me!), except it's Netflix streaming in a pair of GLASSES!! Crazy how technology has advanced.

K's first train ride!

James, Kapri & I spent an afternoon together the last weekend in February down at Seaport Village. K & I had a mommy-daughter date there once before, which she remembers clearly... but this time we decided to take her down on the Coaster... she loved it! The whole ride down she kept waving & saying 'hi' to all the people OUTside of the train, too funny!

Two 'suspect' moles & stitches

Between Jan/Feb, my dermatologist removed/dug out 2 suspicious looking moles...first 'surgery' was to get one from the upper-most part of my inner thigh (OUCH)...with stitches in for 2 weeks. After that time was up, I went back in for stitch removal and to get the 2nd one removed from the middle of my back...and of course, another set of stitches. It all was brutal and so painful. The scar on my leg is about an inch, and the one on my back is more like 2.5" - so gross, but better safe than sorry.

Since then, I've canceled my tanning membership, which has been on hold for a year anyway, haha...but I only spray tan or use tanner at home now. Too scary to continue to fake'n'bake when you are a bit older, are a mamma, and realize how precious life is.

{{no pics, thank goodness - no one want's to see stitches & scars!}}

Baby Maddie's Baptism

After attending my first baptism for her older brother, Jack back in 2011 - it was baby Maddie's turn, who arrived into this world on Jan. 21st! I was asked to take pictures with the godmother's insanely profesh and by far THE heaviest camera ever, so that was fun!...though I didn't get many pics on my phone to document the occasion. She did wonderfully and slept most of the time....so glad we could be part of her special day!

I realized I didn't post about her arrival back in January...here are some cute pics of little Maddie when I visited her in the hospital...rockin her new Custom from Calista headbands!

And how presh is this... a side by side pic of when I visited each baby in the hospital - like brother, like sister huh?!

Baby Hadley's 1st Birthday!

We love birthdays...and Miss Hadley's 1st party was so adorable and all the kids had so much fun...I mean, how could you not with a jumpy in your backyard all day?? Hadley's outfit was the cutest thing I've ever seen... a full lace romper - I kinda want one for myself, LOL!

I especially loved the streamer/balloon/tissue pom poms hanging outside...it was so pretty!

I made Miss H her own embroidered Crayoll and 2 hair clips:

Our 15-Year Dating Anniversary - which I did actually find time to post about ;-)

St. Paddy's Day

Just hangin with friends, bbq'ing and letting the kids play on a huge greenbelt - love these afternoons!

Easter
Easter was split int two days - one day going to "EGGstravaganza" in Carlsbad - which was INSANELY busy & way too packed to be fun...(at least she got a pic with the Easter bunny, who she was "jumping" for joy to see!)...so we went back to a friends house, had a pot luck and did a mini-egg hunt for the kiddos.

Then on Easter morning, we had my mother-in-law & her hubby over for a little brunch. I stuck with my go-to casserole that is just so easy to make & super yummy...it can't be passed up!

Then we took a few pics outside - so blessed to have such incredible weather!

For Easter dinner... banana pancakes - why not?!

Whew...I'm exhausted just reliving all of that!!

Why are goodbyes so hard?!

"Goodbye"

Whether it's for a short time, a long time, or a permanent period of time - it's typically never an easy word to say - especially to those you love.

At the airport, saying goodbye to a dear friend or family member. Or when someone close to you moves away. Even for little children, who don't want their mommy's or daddy's to go to work that day.

It can be hard.

But... there are some exceptionally difficult times when 'goodbye' is almost UN-bearable.

When your heart feels SHATTERED into a million pieces and your soul literally ACHES when you have to say it or even think it.

When you don't know HOW you'll go on another day without that person there with you.

When you would give anything to NOT have to say it.

When you know that there is not one single thing you can do to avoid saying 'goodbye'.

When you know you will never see them again.

This is Mitch Romero, 32 years young...the most adventurous, free-spirited person I have ever met...

Mitch married my dear friend Alexandria, whom I've known for about 14 years now. He passed suddenly on December 4, 2012 - he was a father to their gorgeous 2 year old daughter and unborn child.

I'm catching up on MANY blog posts for this month... so this particular post is being written 3 weeks after I received a terrible phone call that shook my world (and hundreds of others I'm sure). In the days after his passing, it took a lot not to think about it when I had so many responsibilities to tend to... but wondering how Alex & her family were dealing, was definitely the last thing I went to bed thinking about...and it was the VERY first thing I thought about upon waking up. The sadness I felt was so consuming... definitely one of the hardest losses to date in my life.



I was in complete shock & disbelief, as many are when death rattles through a community of friends and family. "WHY?!" is the only word that comes to mind more often than any other word. It's just not fair - not fair that this amazing woman Alex, is now left to raise two kids without their daddy...not fair that his two children won't grow to know him, or be cuddled by him, tickled by him, walked down the aisle by him...loved by him. Not fair that Alex has a whole pregnancy & birth to endure without her rock "physically" there by her side. They were/are very spiritual beings - so I have no doubt that this aspect of their beliefs will remain strong in those left mourning him...and will be a guiding light to their days without him. I wish I were that way.

I want to be strong for her and be a nurturing voice to help keep her uplifted through each day - but I can't. At least not recently. I've crumbled every time I've spoken to her...unable to keep my composure and positivity. Unable to find any words of comfort. Unable to try & glue the pieces of her broken heart. Unable to just be.

Have you ever questioned your worth as a friend? Or your ability to be a good friend? Well, I have been the past few weeks. Uncertain in my strengths, which I swore I had. I feel helpless. Guilty. Overwhelmed in sadness.

I think my 'crumbled' feeling comes from how connected as a mother & wife I feel to Alexandria's situation. If I were to lose my husband - I don't know what the hell I'd do. I don't know how on Earth I'd move past it & heal. I don't know how I'd be able to mother my child the way I do now...with his help & support. Without James and what he provides to our family of 3... I just don't know.

We celebrated Mitch's amazing life this past weekend, on Dec. 23rd. It was terribly hard...but oh my goodness - it was so inspirational and SO beautiful. There were 8 people who spoke, including Alex herself. Wow - I honestly don't know how she did it. She spoke the most heart-felt words with such composure... she was so unbelievably gracious and her voice sounded like an angel. Her brother also wrote & sung the most touching song dedicated to him, with Mitch's pre-tuned guitar - there were no words to describe how out of this world he was...perfection. All of his friends & family all had very similar things to say about Mitch... and listening to these things made me want to be a better person and live every day to the fullest.

Thank you Mitch...for being Alexandria's soulmate, incredible husband & perfect compliment... and giving her Ava and baby-to-be (I really hope it's a boy!)...you were a great daddy. I will try my hardest to be there for Alex as a friend and for your kids as an 'auntie'. My promise to you.

Love you. Miss you. Rest in Peace.

Goodbye my friend.

Need a little positivity today...

Don't Go Mamma!!

Admission: I'm scared. 

Scared that K has lost trust in us right now.
Scared to leave my little bug at home with a sitter in a few weeks...for 3 nights.
Scared that this weird phase she has just randomly entered will last way too long for us all to handle.

This phase I'm talking about is Sleep Separation Anxiety.... I think I've self-diagnosed her, because according to that link, this has GOT to be what we're dealing with.

photo via James - who loves to check up on her at night when he gets home from work 

As I tried to leave the room, after putting K down for bed at her normal 8pm time last Tuesday evening, something was not right.

She...FLIPPED. Like I've honestly never seen before.

Who was this scared little child?? 

What was this sudden 'anxiety' she was portraying?? 

What was this extreme 'clenching' onto my arms & hands...pleading "I don't want you to go mamma!!"?? 

It took me an hour from start to finish with the bedtime routine - normally, it's 30-min max & super easy... been this way for years! I was completely unsure of where this came from & why...it was very worrisome. 

So I tried asking her calmly:

 - what was the matter.... she couldn't say, just that she wanted me there. 

 - why she didn't want me to leave her room.... she said because she loves me (so cute! but not a reason!!)

 - why she didn't want me to sleep in my own room with the light off.... that apparently helps her know for sure that I'm there, close by.

I made countless attempts to walk out the door. Every time I'd turn to go, she'd get overcome with panic and jump right out of bed after me, tugging on my arm. The tone of her cry was even different, something I hadn't quite heard before. Something was wrong.... but somehow I managed to get outta there, after which seemed like an eternity! As I laid in my bed, I thought maybe it was due to our recent 24-hour mini-getaway to Newport the other night may have stirred up something with Kapri. But she was in great hands with her auntie that she loves & knows very well. So why was this happening?!

We left Sunday at noon, got back Monday at 1. She was fine when we put her to sleep Monday night. James worked Tuesday night and when he got home, I told him what had happened... that's when he told me she did the same thing with him at naptime earlier that day. UGH! Which reminds me, I need to ask her preschool teacher if she had trouble napping there at all.

Now it's Friday... Wed. & Thurs. nights were the same scenario - breaks my heart & almost makes me want to cry! I researched techniques to help with this & tested them all out...being as patient & loving as possible.

Still no help. 

I bought some glow in the dark stars...put em up last night... but they didn't glow much, nor did that help make her excited for bedtime. 

I even got the digital frame I'd bought for James, loaded it with pictures of us 3, then put it on her dresser so she could see it in bed. She loved that. But still cried for me & clung onto my arm with all her strength. I have the frame on a 30-min. timer, but once that shut off, she flipped out, asking for it back on. But we told her to get back in bed or else we'd turn off the hall light (her fear of the dark randomly started a few months ago). 

That did the trick & we didn't hear a peep the rest of the night. Ahhh sweet sleep for us all.

Researching this too much is probably not the greatest idea... because today I panicked. I read one article about this type of anxiety having the potential to turn into a "disorder" - lasting for years, adversely effecting multiple areas of their life, and requiring therapy treatments. WTF!??

James works again tonight... and I'm really dreading bedtime tonight...by myself again... hoping this won't last forever. I honestly don't know what else to do!  :'-(

Thoughts before race day

This was a goal for my sisters & I to complete...we trained hard...and I'm so amazed of the time, energy, dedication {and money, obvs} that we all put in.

Without them by my side to lean on for support both mentally and physically, I'm honestly not quite sure if I'd be ready for this race. This journey was tough. It was long. It was a test of our abilities... our strength... our willingness.

And thank goodness for some wonderful help and advise from our running coach Blake... And for the awesome acupuncture sessions from Michael!! And of course a huge THANK YOU to all the friends and family that helped watch Kapri when needed, during my endless hours of training. Lastly, the unwavering, constant support and love from the hubby... Love you babe!!!

PROUD - is the one word that comes to mind when I think about the last 4 months. It's been a road full of blood, sweat & tears - no joke. Love you girls, so glad it's you that I'll be crossing that finish line with!!! xoxo

Today we went to the Race Expo to pick up our bibs, and now we're all staying the night together at Amanda's - so we can get our gear ready & wake up at 3am...ew.

We did it!!! Now let's get this show on the road...literally!